Imbroglio
by psquare
Summary: [Oneshot] A person comes to Nerima seeking revenge on an unusual person for an unusual reason... add porcine capers, kidnappings in the Tendou household, duels to the death, haunting pasts... what's new again?


**_A/N:_** First Ranma ½ fic. Hope you enjoy, and all of that. Personally, I think this is the weirdest story I've ever written, but then again, Ranma ½ is the weirdest anime I've ever seen… 

This is set about the time between Shampoo's disappearance and Cologne's appearance in Nerima.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Ranma ½, or any of its characters. This plot, and Shun and Kumiko Nakamura are, however, mine.

* * *

**_Imbroglio_**

Choices, choices, choices.

It seemed that in every step he took in life, he had to make one. Nothing _ever_ was so outrageously simple as to fall into his lap, no. He had to work for it, _fight_ for it. He had to _decide_. And when he finally did, both options were taken away from him, as if fate was just playing with him for fun, enticing and then betraying him, laughing all the while.

It seemed that he, Kunou Tatewaki, was Fate's favourite punch bag.

For an infinite moment, he wondered at the despondent spiral his thoughts were taking. _Fate's Punch bag, indeed. More like Saotome's punch bag._

And that thought resumed the rush of molten anger through his veins, the anger that made him get up every time Fate knocked him down. It was not fair, Kunou felt. Ranma Saotome had everything. He had the world's two most beautiful and skilled women as his fiancés, and he didn't even know how to respect them. He had martial arts skills, Kunou had to grudgingly admit, that outclassed Kunou's own, even if marginally, and he didn't even know how to use them. It seemed like half of the young girls in Japan were engaged to Ranma in some way or the other, and the thick-skinned idiot did not even appreciate the romantic excitement of such a situation.

As much as Kunou hated to admit it, it was a situation he could never find himself in.

But he wasn't going to give up. Akane Tendou and the pig-tailed kettle goddess will soon be allured by the magnificence of his personality, the warmth of his romance, the deadliness of his fighting skills, the tenderness of his soul, and they will regret that they ever set sight on Ranma Saotome. They will break off any sort of ties they have with the pig-tailed martial artist (_Pig tailed… not only does he share his name, but also his hairstyle with my goddess?_) and come running to Kunou Tatewaki, beautiful eyes brimming with grateful unshed tears.

And when that happened, of course, he would have to…

Kunou sighed.

Choices, choices, choices.

* * *

"Done." 

Nabiki Tendou closed the cap of her pen with finality, a small smile curving her lips as she read through the figures in the book she had open in front of her. It had not been a bad week at all – Kunou had been the easiest and most rewarding to exploit, obviously, and with the end of term exams coming up soon, she had already hit upon several ways to exploit the situation, all of which seemed extremely promising on paper. Whether they would work, she was not absolutely sure.

There was only one way to find out, however.

But given the density of the Furinkan high students, the probability of success shot right through the roof.

Nabiki closed the book and rose from her desk, yawning and stretching. She glanced at the clock, to find out that it was already midnight. Her eyebrows rose. No more should she be deprived of her sleep… she found that inspiration best came to a mind appropriately rested.

Sleepily changing into a pair of pyjamas, Nabiki approached the window to close the curtains… when she froze. She could see a lone man standing in front of the Tendou dojo, dressed simply in a white, open-collared shirt, and a pair of black pants. A messy mop of black hair adorned his head, though she could make out nothing else.

She did, however, know that she had never seen that man before.

_Don't tell me this is **another** guy who hates Ranma's guts…_Nabiki had seen too much of that already. Not that she hadn't enjoyed it, though. But this was really getting too much.

At second glance – and a few rapid blinks to focus sleep-fogged eyes – the man didn't seem to look too dangerous. She couldn't see his face, thanks to the dim light and his unkempt bangs that looked incredibly like Ranma's or Ryouga's, but the casual, almost languid position he seemed to be standing in – back gently arched, hands in pockets – seemed to tell her that this was just some innocent bystander who was probably curious about the place. Frankly, she couldn't blame the guy. Since Ranma and his father had arrived at the Tendou residence, there had ensued nothing short of day-to-day mayhem.

But still… it was rather unusual for somebody to be sightseeing in the middle of the night…

Sighing, Nabiki turned away from the window, closing the curtains in the process. She still felt rather uneasy, and considered – very briefly – waking up either Ranma or Akane. If the guy really _was_ just some innocent fool, she had no doubt that Ranma and Akane would explode over losing their beauty sleep. Not that that prospect really bothered Nabiki, but it _would_ be rather tiring to be handling in the middle of the night.

She'd better go and scare away that man herself.

* * *

When the world hates you, you… 

_Squeal at it, maybe,_ Ryouga Hibiki thought, running as fast as he could on his piglet legs, doing just that. "Come back here!" the one chasing him cried, brandishing a knife that glinted in the moonlight. Dark alleys turned into broad roads, then into rocky paths, all in a series of blinding turns, strained breathing, and loud squeals. _Squealing doesn't seem to help…_

This had almost become routine. He had once again found himself lost in some god-forsaken part of the country while trying to make his way to Furinkan High. Exhausted, and having not eaten for three days flat, he had entered a restaurant. Fine. What had _not_ been fine was the fact that he had bumped straightaway into a chattering waitress. Which, aside from a few choices cusses she might throw at him, was once again fine – what made it _un_-fine, was the fact that she had been carrying a tall glass of water. Friction failed; gravity took over, and the rest of the incident, as they say, is history.

The world _did_ hate him.

"I will _not _forsake a potential dinner!" the cook behind him cried, gaining fast. Ryouga, as P-Chan, felt his little heart thundering rather painfully. Unfortunately, the speed of his heart seemed to have an inverse relationship with the speed of his legs, for he could feel himself slowing down. _Hot water… come on, I need hot bloody damn water!_

As if the Gods had finally heard him, (albeit not completely, when he thought about the incident later), a pair of rough hands scooped him from the ground. P-Chan gave out one last, long squeal, before he realised the person who had picked him up was neither ogling at him, nor was he trying to hack him into pieces and have him for dinner. Ryouga's heart lifted. Maybe this was some animal activist. Maybe some sympathetic passer-by. Maybe Ranma, or even Akane. However, all his hopes were cruelly dashed as he listened to the person speak.

"You will not have this sacred animal, you cur!"

Kunou Tatewaki.

Amazing how the guy managed to make a cooking grill look good…

"And why not, kid?" the cook asked, annoyed. Ryouga found himself being crushed closer to Kunou's chest. _Tell me this isn't happening…_ "This piglet is the adored pet of my beloved goddess. I, upon my honour, will not allow anyone to cook a creature such as this piglet that is so precious to my beloved!"

The cook blinked. "So… this is somebody's pet? Is that what you're trying to say?"

"Yes, indeed it is."

"Well, what proof do you have?"

"Proof?" Kunou was silent for a moment, before Ryouga felt a tug on his bandanna that was currently tied around his piglet neck. "This piece of cloth is proof enough! I can feel the silky touch of my Akane Tendou within the fibres of this…" Suddenly, Kunou squinted at it. "Wait. My well-toned senses hint at something amiss about this lovely piece of cloth. It reminds one of… of…" A bead of sweat rolled down P-Chan's forehead (not that he had much of one). Had the impossible happened, Ryouga wondered. Had Kunou actually made the connection?

The cook, ironically, saved him from further agony. "Well, whatever, kid. Keep that little thing safe. Not that I won't rue the fact that that pig would've made quite a sumptuous meal…" He glanced at his watch, and his eyes widened in shock. "Ah, it's nearly midnight? Time to close." With that, he entered the restaurant.

_Wait_, Ryouga thought. _Restaurant?_ Surely, at the rate he had been running, Ryouga had assumed that they would be somewhere in Dubai by then (which would, of course, also raise the question of how Kunou got there, but Ryouga conveniently ignored the minor drawback). But no. They were in front of a restaurant. A Japanese restaurant. A restaurant he had walked into only an hour earlier.

He had been running in circles.

_Circles!_

Kunou's voice shook him out of his increasingly mortifying musings. "Ah, but I have not yet partaken of my meal!"

"Well, complete it quick, kid," the cook said dismissively. "And you'd better pay."

"What? You attach the possibility of underhandedness with I, _Kunou Tatewaki_?"

The cook went back into the restaurant without a word. Deserves Kunou right, Ryouga thought, with a small measure of triumph permeating his despondence. The slight, however, didn't seem to penetrate Kunou as he strode back into the restaurant, only to almost bump into a yawning waitress. _What is it with this restaurant and inattentive waitresses?_ Ryouga wondered, annoyed.

This waitress, however, seemed to be more polite and got her bearings quickly. "I'm extremely sorry, sir." Then she frowned. "Are you Mr. Kunou Tatewaki, sir?"

Kunou looked rather flattered. "Indeed I am, my dear girl."

The waitress produced a piece of paper from somewhere on her person. "A man had come by earlier, sir, and told me to give you this." Kunou took it from her, a thoughtful look on his face. "He came by just a few minutes before you arrived, gave me your description, and told me to give you this note without fail."

Kunou frowned, still not daring himself to read what was written. "And what did he look like?"

"Well… he wasn't really very remarkable looking, sir," the waitress said apologetically. "He wore a white shirt and black leggings, but that's all I can really remember."

"One cannot blame you, I suppose," Kunou said resignedly, fingering the paper once again, a frown flickering over his features. Ryouga was surprised. He'd never seen Kunou look so worried, and so… _serious_ before (not that he had cared to see much of Kunou, in the first place). Personally, he had thought Kunou incapable of sense or seriousness.

"I wonder…" Kunou finally seemed to find it in himself to open the folded piece of paper, and read it. Ryouga shifted his position in Kunou's arms to have a peek at the paper, as well. As one, man and pig's eyes widened.

"_What?_"

"Bwee!"

* * *

She was coming. 

He closed his eyes for an infinite moment, savouring the cool night breeze against his face, the chirping of crickets punctuated by the distant rumble of vehicles passing by far away, the stillness. The feeling of triumph. The feeling of success being barely a few seconds away. The feeling of witnessing the meaning of everything he had ever done his entire life, everything he had striven for, everything that had had significance to him, culminate into one electrical, tangible moment.

Indeed, destiny beckoned.

"Who the hell _are_ you?"

He opened his eyes to see a girl of slender stature, donned in pyjamas and overcoat, standing a few metres away from him, an annoyed expression on her face. Despite himself, a slow smile spread on his face. Well now. This girl had just made things infinitely easier for him…

The nature of the girl's frown shifted from annoyed to concerned. Obviously she had expected him to sheepishly apologise and scamper away. He savoured her surprise, turning the moment over and over. She seemed to fit the description – short dark hair, large brown eyes, Tendou dojo. She wasn't as good-looking as they had made her out to be, but then again, _he_ never had had any problems with _that_.

He cleared his throat. "Miss Tendou."

The girl's frown deepened, and she took a step back. "Have you come here for… _him_?"

Ah. Perceptive. He liked that. "You could say that."

To his surprise, an excited, almost _hungry_ gleam entered her eyes. "Well, then, if you've come to fight him, I could arrange something… for a price."

That surprised him. She was planning to betray him so easily?

Wait. This could be a trap. Her eyes flicked nervously to the dojo for a split second, but that split second was all he needed. "I'm terribly sorry, but I've already made all the arrangements I would need." He stepped closer to her, enjoying the surprise that ate away at her cool exterior. He grabbed her hands in a vice-like grip. "Though I _must_ thank you for making things easier for me."

Her eyes widened, and she struggled in his grip. "Let go of me, you moron!" Taking a deep breath, she prepared herself to scream. "RA –"

Oh no. Couldn't have that. Twisting her arm behind her back, he clamped a hand roughly over her mouth. "I really don't want to hurt you… unless it's absolutely necessary," he growled. "So don't make things rough for yourself."

As he predicted, the girl's struggles increased manifold. He had been told that she was a feisty one. He would have to adopt the Desperate Measure. It was rather underhanded, he felt, but there was a reason why it was called 'desperate'. Honour didn't have a place there. Heck, it didn't have a place in _anything_ he was doing, but things had gone too far. Everything had gone far beyond honour, and somehow, he didn't regret it.

He pulled out a wet rag from his pocket and clamped it over the girl's nose and mouth. She seemed to recognise what it was (experience, maybe? He wouldn't be surprised… or maybe it was just long hours reading sappy whodunits) and stopped struggling. Stupid girl. She was trying to hold back her breath. She deserved more credit than he had given her…

"I was _really_ hoping I wouldn't have to do this, you know," he said sincerely. He raised one hand from the two-handed grip he had on her mouth. She took the relative relaxation of grip to push his hand away and give out a scream. "RANMA!"

_Shit._ He clamped the rag over her mouth once again, balling his free hand into a fist. He gave a well-positioned, if gentle punch to the small of her back, forcing her to gasp and take in a breath of the chloroform. Within the next couple of moments, she slumped against him, eyes closed, clearly unconscious.

_Good._ Before anybody had the chance to come out of the Tendou household to investigate the scream, he slung her limp form over his shoulders, and took off in a running sprint. _Your day of judgement has come, you scoundrel,_ he thought, a sickly evil smile tracing itself onto his lips.

_I will have my revenge tonight.

* * *

_

"RANMA!"

Akane Tendou looked across the table at Ranma Saotome, as he jumped up at the scream. "Nabiki?" he cried, as her sister ran into the room, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Ranma!" she cried again, spreading out her arms invitingly. To Akane's horror, Ranma fell into those arms, hugging Nabiki tightly. "Oh Nabiki," he said softly, gently, running his hands up and down her back, "don't worry – I'm here."

"Hey, wait," Akane said. Getting up, she approached the two, anger boiling in her veins. What did those two _think_ they were doing?

Her progress was stopped unexpectedly by a small, warm form rubbing itself against her ankle. She swirled around to see P-Chan looking at her with huge imploring eyes. "Don't go," it said, startling Akane. Somehow, she didn't feel surprised that the pig was talking – in fact, she felt more surprised at the fact that it was talking in…

Ryouga's voice.

"And why shouldn't I?" she asked, amazement morphing into annoyance at a rapid rate.

"That's because you're an uncute tomboy," the pig replied seriously, the words seemingly carrying more weight, thanks to Ryouga's deep voice. "Ranma never loved you. You were never _girl_ enough for him. He even considers Nabiki a better substitute. Then there's Shampoo. Then…"

"Shut up!" Akane cried, tears welling up in her eyes. She clamped her hands over her ears. "I don't want to listen to this!"

Her hands, however, couldn't block out Nabiki's happy sighs as she leaned more into Ranma's embrace. "Ranma," Nabiki kept saying, her voice infused with pleasure, setting fire to Akane's already-fragile temper. "Ranma. Ranma, oh, Ranma…"

_Ranma, Ranma, Ranma, Ranma…_

Akane couldn't bear it. She wanted to scream her lungs out.

_Uncute tomboy… never liked you… Shampoo… Nabiki?_

Her hands clenched tighter over her ears.

_Ranma, Ranma, Ranma…_

This was it. Either Ranma, or she was going to _die_.

"RANMA!"

With a scream, Akane sat up, breathing heavily. She took a wary look at her surroundings, noting with relief that it was her bedroom. _Just a nightmare…_ But what a nightmare. Nabiki with Ranma? P-Chan speaking in Ryouga's voice? Nabiki screaming Ranma's name?

How perfectly ludicrous.

She then heard the beginnings of a commotion outside her room, and curious, Akane got up and opened the door. Kasumi stood there, hand raised, as if in preparation to knock. "Oh, Akane," she said. "Did you hear someone scream Ranma's name?"

Oh. So that _had_ been real… "Yeah, I did," Akane said slowly. "It sounded like… like Nabiki."

"I thought so too." Kasumi looked worried. "I checked in Nabiki's room, but it's empty. Oh Akane, you don't think she is in trouble, do you?"

"Well, there's only one way to find out for sure," Akane said resolutely, stepping out of her room. She took a look at Nabiki's empty room, then trudged down the stairs to find her very worried father waiting. "Did you hear it?" he asked, before Akane could say a word. The two girls nodded. "She's got to be somewhere around here," Kasumi said bracingly. "We'll search. Meanwhile, Akane, why don't you go wake up Ranma?"

Akane nodded and entered the guest room, where Ranma and his father were still sleeping soundly. Typical. She bent down and shook Ranma's shoulder rigorously. "Come on, get up, idiot," she said. The pig-tailed martial artist finally opened his eyes, frowning and licking his lips. "A- Aa – Akane?" he said, stifling a huge yawn. "What's up?"

"Nabiki's missing," she informed him. "We heard her screaming your name a couple of minutes ago, and now she's nowhere to be found."

"Screamed my name?" He got up. "Why would she do that?"

"Maybe she found herself in trouble. In real danger." She bit her lip.

"We'll find her, don't worry," Ranma assured her, making his way out of the room, just as Kasumi and Soun Tendou entered. "She's not anywhere in the house or in the dojo," Kasumi informed them. "Oh dear, I wonder where she could've gotten off to…"

Her father started wailing. Ranma was surprised he hadn't done so earlier. Akane looked at her father with exasperated disgust. "Geez, don't worry, dad, we're going to find her now. She must be somewhere in Nerima." She glanced at Ranma. "Right?"

"Uh… right. Let's go, then."

"Be careful, you two!" Kasumi said almost cheerfully as she accompanied them to the front gate.

The two of them stood there for a long moment, just staring out into the night. "So we've got to find her," Ranma said.

"Nerima's not that big a place."

"It is, considering the amount of time you take to travel."

"And _what_ exactly do you mean by that?"

"Jeez, are you _that_ slow in mind as well? It means that by the time you manage to keep up with me, Nabiki might even be out of Nerima."

"_What_ did you say?"

_Bam._ "Ow, Akane! You don't have to keep hitting me with that… _thing_ all the bloody time, you know."

"If you weren't such a –" _Bam_. "Jerk, I –" _Bam._ "Maybe I wouldn't." _Bam_.

"Uncute, violent tomboy!"

"Irritating jerk!"

And so bickering, the two made their way into the night.

* * *

There are times in life, Ryouga Hibiki thought, that are inevitable. That must be tolerated. That must be treated like dark nights to be slept through in anticipation of a new dawn; exotic lands that must be waded through in pursuit of his love. 

This moment, he felt, most certainly fell into that category.

Kunou crushed him closer and closer to his chest as he ran with almost maniacal speed across the city. Despite the discomfort, Ryouga understood Kunou's speed, even _wanted_ him to go faster. The note that Kunou had received spelled out very clearly what its writer had done: He had kidnapped Akane Tendou, and if Kunou wanted to see her alive and well, he had to come to Nerima's central park by midnight.

The note had been unsigned.

For a couple of moments, Kunou had just stood there, stunned, as if surprised that something like this had happened to _him_, and not to Ranma. For most of the past few years, Kunou had always striven to prove his love to Akane, despite the sure knowledge that she would reject him. Nobody really acknowledged his love for Akane as something of significance, as tangible, as a feeling that had the even the slightest possibility of working itself out. Ranma and Akane were engaged, they obviously loved each other despite their constant bickering; end of story. Kunou was just some crazy character thrown in for the laughs.

What had scared Kunou at that moment was the realisation that, in some convoluted way, _he_ had been considering himself the same way, as well.

Oblivious to all of Kunou's mental meanderings, Ryouga had stared at the note, going through agony of his own. Somebody had kidnapped Akane Tendou? _His_ Akane? And it was because of something Kunou Tatewaki did? Molten anger had flowed through his veins then, and Kunou was lucky that Ryouga had been in pig form.

Kunou had then declared he would go to rescue his 'fair Akane' and the sound of his booming voice (not to mention the accompanying Distant Thunder) brought Ryouga's mind back into focus. There had been a cup of hot tea on the counter right next to Kunou's arms where he nestled. Just one mighty squirm, a calculated leap to that counter, and he could've knocked that hot tea over him, could've changed back into his human self. But that was when (for once) Ryouga's rational side had kicked in.

It was best if he stayed in pig form, for a very simple reason: Kunou could take him to where Akane was being held. Considering his sense of direction (or lack thereof), Ryouga suspected – no, _knew_ – that he would be somewhere in Mongolia the next morning if he ever tried to find the park on his own. He could find some way to protect Akane when he got there. Ranma always did, the fool.

And besides, as thickheaded as Kunou was, Ryouga most definitely _didn't_ want the high school kendoist to know about his curse.

The fact that he might end up naked in the middle of a restaurant (and in front of Kunou!) also pushed him considerably in the direction of the decision he had made, of course. (_Was that a pun?_)

And so here the great Ryouga Hibiki was, nestled in Kunou Tatewaki's arms as the latter raced to rescue Akane. As his thoughts reached a full circle, Ryouga once again resorted to philosophy to calm himself down. _Just one of those moments… Akane would appreciate me for all that I've gone through for her… Ranma will not be there…_

His thoughts suddenly stopped there. Personally, it is not known that this chronicler, or anybody else this chronicler knows, has ever seen a pig smirk, but the twist of P-Chan's lips came pretty darned close.

Oh yes. Ranma Saotome will not be there.

* * *

Nabiki Tendou felt like she had just been to hell and back. 

Half a dozen powerful jackhammers seemed to be at hard work inside her head, and it was with quite some effort that she managed to open her eyes. A haze of dark green and blue swayed and danced before her. Blinking vigorously, she managed to bring the scene into focus. Three things were immediately apparent: One, she was _not_ in her bedroom; Two, somebody had _really_ slugged her head through a dozen brick walls, and Three, that _somebody_ was going to _pay_.

Finally, memory kicked itself into gear, as she remembered the events of the night. That… that _guy_ (moron seemed more appropriate) had kidnapped her. To get his revenge against Ranma Saotome. Kidnapped Nabiki Tendou. She felt like screaming. Which divine being had turned the tables here? Wasn't Akane supposed to be the besotted damsel in distress?

Nabiki tried to calm down. _I'm a bloody businesswoman, for Pete's sake. I should be able to get myself out of anything._ Having thus reassured herself, Nabiki tried to analyse her position. Her hands were tied behind her back to what felt like a large column of stone. The knots seemed to be pretty tight – unless she were Ryouga, Ranma or maybe even Akane, she couldn't even dream of getting herself out of those knots in time. Having given up that lane of thought, she took a quick look around her. Even in the darkness, she was familiar enough with the place to recognise it immediately: Nerima's central park. _Perfect time and place for a prolonged duel._

Suppressing a groan, Nabiki began to look for her assailant. He seemed to be nowhere in sight, which was pretty odd… if he had gotten an attack of nerves in the last second and just left her there to be found in the morning, she would _never_ forgive him. Her reputation would probably sink to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Which would, of course, also the mean the loss of many of her 'trusted' agents, which meant huge losses of money and…

_Stop it!_ Nabiki shook her head violently. Geez, with the way she was thinking, she could give even Ryouga a run for his money as far as depression went!

No. Maybe not Ryouga. Depression was one area she was glad he beat them all.

The violent shake didn't do her any good, as she discovered when the headache hit back with full force a couple of seconds later. Unable to restrain herself, Nabiki let out a low groan. Immediately, the shadows to her side seemed to move, and her mysterious assailant emerged. Despite herself, Nabiki felt some admiration toward the man. Having been brought up among martial artists her whole life, Nabiki had, over the years, come to recognise the way they moved, the way they operated. No martial artist could hide from the watchful eyes of Nabiki. (Except maybe Ranma. When he was lucky, of course). But this guy had evaded all observation, in spite of the fact that he had been right by her side. He was _good_.

But then again, she _did_ have that stupid headache…

"So you're awake," the man said. Nabiki rolled her eyes. _No duh, Sherlock Holmes. _"I hope you feel okay," the man continued, obviously not noticing Nabiki restraining herself with great difficulty from snarling at him. _Feeling okay, indeed!_ "I really did not want to hurt you. Once my business is over with your…" he clenched his teeth, "_boyfriend_, I'll let you go unharmed – you have my word on that."

"Thanks for all your oh-so-convincing reassurance," Nabiki said flippantly. "But you seem to have your facts wrong. See, I'm _not_ Ranma's girlfriend."

He frowned and cocked his head. "Ranma? You mean Ranma Saotome? You think I've come here to fight _him_?" He threw his head back and laughed heartily, while Nabiki's calm façade seemed to slip slightly. She _hated_ to be on the ignorant end of things, and absolutely _loathed_ being laughed at for it. "I have not come here for Ranma Saotome, though he is a worthy opponent. No, Miss Tendou, I've come here for Kunou Tatewaki." He spat the name as if it were something exquisitely disgusting that he had just ingested.

If either Ryouga or Akane had been on the receiving end of this startling piece of information, they would've probably gone off the deep end and ripped the stone column off its foundations; Ranma would probably showcase some crazy new martial art technique (and not to mention almost inhuman luck), escape, get Kunou to come there, and enjoy the show, glad that for once he was not the object of crazed revenge, but Nabiki being Nabiki, did not do any of this. She merely stared steadily back at her kidnapper, a slight parting of her lips being the only indication of the surprise she was feeling.

"I, Shun Nakamura, will extract my revenge from the vile, thick-headed idiot tonight. He has already ruined many lives – he will do so no further."

Nabiki cleared her throat. "Uhm, Shun, that's all very admirable and all that, but I fail to understand one thing: just _what_ connection do _I_ have with Kunou Tatewaki?"

He whirled around to finally look at her. Nabiki was mildly startled by the intensity of his eyes – sure, she'd stared into the faces of many obsessed maniacs before, but some strange fire flickering within the green depths of the eyes of this Nakamura person made her nervous like she had never been before… "Oh, you're good," he said, a slow smile spreading across his face – a smile that made her sick to her stomach. "But you have no need to defend him now. You see, I got myself pretty well-informed before I came here." He closed his eyes. "That scoundrel does not deserve a person as loyal as you."

_Well-informed, eh?_ Nabiki frowned. _Well, I'd sure like to meet your so-called 'sources' and beat the snot out of them. _"Listen, I'm not Kunou's girlfriend. If he ever asked me out, I assure you that there wouldn't be a second's hesitation in my refusal." Why was she telling him this anyway? "Besides, he's totally obsessed over my younger sister, Akane. If you really wanted to get a reaction out of him, I'd suggest kidnapping her."

Shun's brow knotted. "I know that. That's why I kidnapped you. You're Akane, aren't you?"

Nabiki's eyes widened. Is _that_ what the whole incident was about? Some big misunderstanding? She'd been knocked around, chloroformed, kidnapped, and laughed at, because some half-baked maniacal idiot had thought that she, Nabiki, was Akane? The desire to scream once again possessed her. Lips curling in a snarl, Nabiki was about to reward her kidnapper with one of her famous 'acid retorts', before an uncomfortably familiar voice boomed across the park (accompanied, of course, by the Distant Thunder).

"Where might you be, you infidel that has taken my goddess? You will face the wrath of the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High for your lowly actions!"

_Kunou,_ Nabiki thought with a small measure of an emotion she was surprised to find was relief. His loud proclamation was accompanied by a small but determined "Bwee!" which Nabiki immediately recognised as the voice – er, squeal – of P-Chan. _What's P-Chan doing with Kunou?_

Shun smiled his eerie smile again as Kunou came into view, clutching, as Nabiki had suspected, P-Chan in his arms. For a moment, the two men stared at each other, one frowning as distant memories teased the edges of his mind, and the other adopting a languid smug stance.

"Do you remember me, Tatewaki?" Shun said finally.

"I believe – I believe I've seen you before," Kunou said slowly. Then the light of recognition flared in his eyes. "Oh yes, the fishing trip I had gone for a few years ago. You're Shun Nakamura, I presume? I seem to remember that you had a particularly lovely younger sister… Kumiko, right?"

"You're right," Shun said, now visibly shaking with anger. "Though I can't believe you'd have the _nerve_ to say her name, after… after all that you've done."

"After what I've done?" Kunou frowned. "What did I do?"

"Don't you dare feign innocence!" Shun yelled, pulling out a long and dangerous looking katana from a sheath on his belt. "I have prepared long for this moment, Tatewaki," he said, adopting a fighting stance. "Enjoy your last moments on Earth while you can."

A serious expression settled like a mask on Kunou's face as he set P-Chan on the ground and took out his own wooden bokken. "I do not know why you see the need to kill me, but I will, upon my honour, finish this fight!" He settled into his stance. "But where have you kept my Akane, fiend?"

Shun nodded impatiently toward the stone column where Nabiki was tied, not taking his eyes off Kunou. The latter's eyes widened. "But… that girl there… isn't she Nabiki –?"

Shun rushed forward with a roar, interrupting Kunou's moment of bafflement. "Silence!" Kunou managed to avoid the thrust and countered with his bokken. And so the fight ensued, the two men lost in a whirlwind of swirls, swings, cuts and parries. Nabiki knew that Kunou was quite skilled with the bokken, but obviously Shun's katana was far superior to his wooden sword, and Shun was slowly but surely gaining the upper hand in the fight. Nabiki found herself praying fervently for the poor guy (Kunou, obviously).

Finally, with an almighty thrust, Shun broke through Kunou's defences. Kunou swiftly brought up his bokken to save himself from sure death, only to have the katana neatly shear through the wooden sword, cutting it cleanly into two pieces. Time seemed to have stopped, or at least coagulated, as Shun gave a frightening leer at a stunned Kunou, holding the tip of his sword at Kunou's throat. Nabiki gasped.

This was _not_ good.

* * *

The idiot. 

Ryouga felt like cursing every single living entity on the world that night, and topping his list (in close competition with Ranma Saotome) was Kunou Tatewaki. First, that incident at the restaurant. Second, lugging him all the way across Tokyo to rescue 'Akane' while the 'Akane' had been Nabiki all along! Third, he had also dragged Ryouga into a scene largely concerning his own messed up life, and fourth, he was about to get himself killed, right in front of Ryouga, and _there was nothing Ryouga could do about it._

Ryouga was really _not_ enjoying that night.

Kunou swallowed slightly, not willing to show any fear in his eyes, despite knowing the fact that if he so much as twitched, the sword would skewer his throat. Shun leered some more. "You still don't remember, Kunou? You don't remember how your very presence tortured my poor sister on that trip?"

"I'll – I'll admit that your sister _was _rather enamoured with me," Kunou managed. "But I fail to see how that could drive you to –"

"Silence!" Shun's sword twitched slightly, sloughing off a few skin cells over Kunou's throat. "_Enamoured_ is a mild way to put it. She was crazy about you, couldn't you see that?"

Somebody crazy about Kunou? Despite the seriousness of the situation, Ryouga found himself overwhelmed by the desire to laugh. Well, that was definitely a first, he thought.

"I – I didn't realise that…"

"But you never took any notice of her," Shun ploughed on relentlessly. "Everyday she used to look at you so yearningly, always hoping for a smile, a glance, an acknowledgement of her presence… it was pitiful. I tried to talk her out of it, but she would refuse to even discuss the matter with me. Then one day…" Shun swallowed, lowering his eyes as if the matter was too painful to talk about, but continued speaking anyway. "Then one day, presumably after meeting you, she came back broken, dejected. She has refused to talk to anyone since then. I _hate_ to see my sister so unhappy, Tatewaki – and I decided to take revenge on the man who had brought her to such a pitiable state." His grip on the katana tightened. "For Kumiko, and for my family honour, I will kill you tonight, Tatewaki!"

"Wait, wait, my dear Shun Nakamura! I assure you, your sister has never harboured any feelings for me that would've driven her to such a state of grief. I've never exchanged more than a few words with her; you must've misinterpreted a few glances in my general direction as those of yearning…"

As Kunou tried to desperately argue his case, two flint stones rubbed themselves against each other vigorously in Ryouga's brain, as he tried to remember something. _Kumiko Nakamura…_ Now, why did that name seem so familiar to him?

Finally, the fire of remembrance sparked to life.

Only, to Ryouga, it didn't feel like fire, but rather a ton of reinforced cement dropped unceremoniously on his head.

It had been quite a few years ago – at least three, Ryouga estimated. He had got lost on his way to home from school (like that was a surprise) and had somehow ended up camping somewhere near where Kunou's family and friends had been fishing. Kumiko had discovered him the very next day and promised not to tell anyone of his presence – that particular bank _was_ private property, after all. They had struck a sort of silent deal, and for the next few days, she used to surreptitiously bring him food and other essentials. They soon had had a good friendship going, but Ryouga had, at that time, failed to realise the implications of 'striking a friendship' with an over-sensitive thirteen year old girl. Soon she became… there was no other word, _obsessed_ with him, absolutely infatuated. Ryouga had felt uncomfortable, choked (as was expected of him), and preferring the direct approach, he had called her aside one night and made his feelings toward her very clear: Friends; nothing more, nothing less. Apparently, she had taken the words harder than he thought she would…

And now Kunou – and in a way, Nabiki – was paying the price for Ryouga's inability to properly deal with any situation involving a girl.

_All those stares that Shun mentioned must've been her daydreaming about me!_ Ryouga thought, distressed. She had told him as much, as well…

Ryouga sighed inwardly. This was all his damn fault again. As much as he hated Kunou, Ryouga didn't particularly appreciate the fact that Kunou was going to die for no fault of his own. When he was going to die because of Ryouga. Ryouga's utter stupidity, lack of tact and, of course, absolute lack of direction. Self-pity and anger sloshed around in a deadly mix in his blood vessels, and P-Chan's small hooves restlessly scratched at the ground. _Nobody's going to die because of me! … Except, maybe well, Ranma._

Nabiki's reflexive scream brought Ryouga out of his thoughts. He looked up to see Shun going for the kill, Kunou unable to do anything about it. The crazed light in Shun's eyes indicated that he had really gone beyond all reasonable negotiation. There was only one thing left to do, Ryouga decided.

With a sprint of speed that would've surprised even Ranma, Ryouga, as P-Chan, took a flying leap at the hanging folds of Kunou's kimono, and using that as leverage, leaped on to Shun's arm – the arm that held the katana. Ryouga had no idea what help he was going to be, but this was the least he could do…

His plan worked out _way_ better than he had ever expected.

With a scream that outclassed any old banshee's, Shun dropped the katana, shaking his arm violently to get rid of P-Chan. Ryouga latched on even tighter, clamping his porcine teeth into Shun's flesh.

Shun went crazy from that point.

Reaching into his pocket with his free hand, he shakily pulled out a gun. Ryouga's eyes widened and his teeth immediately let go of Shun's arm. He recognised all the symptoms: the guy was dead afraid of pigs. Normally, he would've tried to use this to his advantage, but right now, faced with the barrel of a real gun staring down his face, he rightly considered saving his own life top priority. With a loud squeal, he jumped down to the ground, but Shun didn't seem to have finished with him yet. Only amazing acrobatics (amazing for a piglet, that is) and plain, pure, dumb luck saved him from the bullets that shot forth. "Pig! You shall die!" Shun kept yelling, having gone far beyond the point of mental stability.

Just as Ryouga wondered how much longer he could keep this up, he heard the welcome sound of running feet and loud voices – voices that sounded like Ranma and Akane.

"Did you hear those gunshots?"

"Yeah… think they came from the park."

"Look, isn't that Kunou? And Nabiki? And… _P-CHAN_!"

_AKANE! _Ryouga cried mentally, nearly paying for that momentary lapse in attention with his life as a bullet thudded into the lawn a few inches to his right. Ryouga gave a frightened squeal, prolonged mostly for the benefit of Ranma and Akane, so that they wouldn't have any illusions as to what was happening in the park. It worked, with excellent results.

"That… that man! He's trying to _shoot_ P-Chan!" Akane sprinted to the scene before Ranma could even say a word, and landed a vicious spinning kick to Shun's head. The man stood there for a moment as his gun dropped from his limp hand, stunned, before emitting a noise that sounded like a sick duck hiccupping, and collapsed. Ryouga felt momentary triumph, before he realised he occupied the very space that Shun's unconscious body was going to occupy in a split second. Giving a frightened squeal, he tried to get away, but he was too late.

Shun's warm mass fell unceremoniously on top of Ryouga, and his world went black.

* * *

This was not happening. 

Nabiki Tendou watched in a daze as the katana twitched at Kunou's throat, as Shun and Kunou talked. She could see them move their lips, but her ears seemed to be filled with a strange buzzing sound, cutting out all conversation. Finally, she felt her jaw muscles go slack as Shun shifted his grip to go in for the kill. This was it. This was the end. The buzzing sound reached an impossible crescendo, and hot liquid that felt suspiciously like tears pricked at her eyeballs. Why was she feeling like this? She couldn't bring herself to answer the question… just couldn't…

Suddenly, within an impossible instant, a black and yellow blur jumped across her vision and onto Shun's arm. What followed was a haze of screams, squeals, gunshots – _gunshots?_ – of more shouting, kicking, falling, and finally… the cold blade of a katana brushed against her wrist, bringing her back to her senses. She nearly screamed once again, before she realised Kunou was using the fallen blade to free her of her bonds. The buzzing sound receded into the dark corners of her mind, and Nabiki once again found herself thinking clearly.

"Ku – Kunou?"

"Yes, it is I, Kunou Tatewaki," he said quietly, helping her to her feet. Nabiki was surprised at the transformation that had taken place on his face. _Well, now I know how to make Kunou grow up,_ Nabiki thought wryly. _Threaten his life at knifepoint._

Rubbing her wrists vigorously to help getting the circulation going again, she glanced to where Shun had been standing moments earlier to see Akane cradling an unconscious P-Chan in her arms, Ranma by her side, looking at the pig anxiously over her shoulder. Nabiki nearly snorted. "Geez, have I got a _considerate _family."

Akane gave a guilty start and smiled sheepishly at her. "Sorry, Nabiki. Are you okay?"

"More or less. The guy only chloroformed me – the headache should be gone soon, I guess." She cocked her head. "What happened to P-Chan?"

To her surprise, it was Kunou who replied, his voice solemn and reverent. "The little creature saved our – _my_ life. In an unparalleled act of heroism, it distracted Shun and even risked its life long enough for you to come here." He bowed deeply to the unconscious pig in Akane's arms. "This brave pig is certainly a worthy pet for my goddess."

Akane smiled and patted P-Chan's head. Then she gestured toward Shun. "So what's the deal with this guy?"

Nabiki quickly intervened. "Why don't you take him back to the dojo? We'll explain there."

"Yeah," Ranma concurred. "Being a regular recipient of your kicks, Akane, I have no doubt this guy would be out for at least 'nother two hours."

Akane instantly narrowed her eyes. "And what do you mean by _that_?"

Ranma smirked. "Exactly what you're thinking."

With a growl, Akane let loose a wild punch which Ranma (obviously) easily dodged. "Hey, why're you hittin' _me_, Akane? Shouldn't you be angry at your own thoughts?"

"Think you're very clever, do you?" Akane turned to exit the park in a huff. "Just for that, you can bring the guy on your_ own_ back to the dojo."

Ranma gave a noise of disbelief. "Uncute tomboy." He slung the unconscious man over his shoulders. "Be seeing you there, Nabiki," he said, proceeding to leave the park as well. Nabiki nodded and watched him till he was out of sight. Then with a sigh, she turned to Kunou, who had surprisingly not left the park yet. "Thanks, Kunou. You know, for rescuing me."

Silence.

"I must be honest with you, Nabiki Tendou. I came here not with the specific desire to rescue _you_, but –"

"To rescue Akane?" Nabiki smiled wearily. "You and the rest of the world, Kunou."

"I _am_ sorry, however, for putting you at such risk. I assure you, it will not happen again."

Nabiki began to feel, for what was probably the first time in her life, uncomfortable. She felt as if the cosmic tables had overturned. Kunou wasn't _supposed_ to act like this, he wasn't! "Yeah, yeah… whatever. I'm… I'm just happy you didn't die." Her smile widened into a grin. "You still have a good 500 yen that you owe me from our last deal, you know."

To her surprise, Kunou smiled. "I have not forgotten. And Nabiki…" Suddenly his eyes were filled with the old intensity, and Nabiki nearly back-pedalled. _Oh no…_

He smiled wider at the look on her face. "Do not worry, I do not intend on asking you out. Just… thanks." He turned and walked toward the exit. "I will see you tomorrow, Nabiki Tendou. Good night."

Nabiki watched his receding form with a sad smile. "Oh Kunou," she found herself saying softly, "If I could, I… I really _would_."

Nabiki bent down and wrapped her overcoat around her shivering form. Suddenly a thought occurred to her, a thought that left her fuming. _You **would **__leave me here to walk home in my pyjamas, would you?_

"You're going to pay for this!"

And somewhere else in Nerima, well on his way home, Kunou Tatewaki sneezed.

_**Finis

* * *

**_


End file.
